A-Level results and neurodivergent transitions
Tomorrow is A-Level results day in England, Northern Ireland and Wales. It’s a nerve racking day for most young people and parents, but especially so for neurodivergent teens - and of course neurodivergent parents, carers, and even professionals who work closely with neurodivergent young people and feel invested in their future happiness.
Results day is more than just opening your envelope and nervously peeking to see your grades. It’s the beginning of a transition period and that can bring lots of different feelings all at once.
Here’s some ideas for how to help the neurodivergent teens in your life (and you!) cope with results day and beyond.
Expect conflicting feelings and wobbles
Even when you get the grades you needed and the outcome you might have been wanting for the past 2 years, the prospect of change and transition can be scary as well as exciting. It can feel sad as well as hopeful. Getting those good results doesn’t just signal how well you did. It also means the next thing you’d been planning for but never quite felt real yet suddenly becomes very real.
Even if your neurodivergent child is staying at home or in your home town, there will still be lots of change and that will bring some losses - the stability and familiarity of the school routine, perhaps, or seeing friends every weekday.
Even if they didn’t like school, they might suddenly feel sad about not going back. Parents, carers, professionals and loved ones can find this really baffling - but it can be more about loss of familiarity than nostalgia for the school environment, teachers or peers.
How to support
Don’t pressure yourself or your child to feel positive about the upcoming changes all the time. Make room for different feelings to come and go.
Don’t overschedule. It’s easy for the weeks following results day to become a whirlwind of to do lists and preparation, whether it’s job hunting, shopping for textbooks or to kit out the student accommodation, saying goodbyes to friends and family for those moving away from home for uni or work. Allow plenty of unscheduled time and low demand time for preferred self-regulation activities.
Results day disappointments
One of the toughest things to face on results day is disappointment. Sometimes this is about not getting the right grades and the overwhelm of having to re-plan the next steps, but there may be other issues in the mix too.
Neurodivergent teens may be extra sensitive to friends’ emotions. It may be hard to feel they can celebrate their own achievements when close friends don’t get the results they wanted. They might have planned on going to the same university as a close friend (who may also be a safe person) and then only one of them gets the grades to go.
How to support
If your child has been disappointed, allow for a period of feeling that loss. Resist the urge to swoop in and rescue or offer solutions straight away.
Acknowledge and praise hard work and effort, not just end results and grades.
Validate and reinforce the positive aspects of showing empathy for and to friends who have been disappointed on results day, while also making space to celebrate with safe people.
Don’t dismiss the impact of no longer having a familiar friend from home in a new place. Of course, the natural instinct will be for most adults to feel that a young person shouldn’t re-plan their own life choices around a friend, and that they may not stay friends through university, and those things may be true. But the loss of a potential companion in the next phase of transition might feel huge or even insurmountable to a neurodivergent teen.
If you have good relationships with friends’ families, speak with them about how they’re doing and coping.
Talking through options
It’s important to know the options if your neurodivergent child didn’t get their grades, such as clearing, resits, alternative pathways such as apprenticeships, or taking a gap year to reassess.
Neurodivergent teens may be more prone to decision paralysis or overwhelm when having to rethink a big decision and there are lots of different choices. Parents, carers and professional support can help with researching options and talking through.
Need professional support?
Counsellors can support neurodivergent young people facing difficult transition decisions or results day disappointments by providing a neutral space for them to talk through their feelings and options without pressure or agenda from friends or family. Why not check out our directory of neurodivergent counsellors across the UK?
Are you an organisation supporting neurodivergent young people?
Free2BMe offers specialist neurodiversity training for counsellors and mental health professionals. We’ve worked with university counselling services, charities and employers to provide accessible, tailored mental health support to neurodivergent clients, including supporting neurodivergent young adults with those big life transitions.
We have availability for autumn 2024 for in person and online training - why not contact us and see how we can help you support your neurodivergent clients through the next academic year and beyond?
